Scenes From the Staff Room
by ASpasticNerd
Summary: What it says on the tin! Moments between Hogwarts staff during the books.
1. Tea Break

Professor McGonagall desperately needed a cup of tea. It had been a trying morning. Breakfast was disrupted by the _Daily Prophet's_ announcement of Umbridge's appointment as High Inquisitor. The staff table was glum for the duration of the meal as Umbridge simpered. Potter was being so ridiculously obvious with his significant glances toward McGonagall from the Gryffindor table that she thought his eyes might roll out of his head. Later, during a disappointing second year lesson, three boys mysteriously erupted with nosebleeds. On top of everything, Peeves had stolen all her quills from her office and carved something rude into the top of her desk. The din of the student-filled halls was overwhelming and she quickly shut the staff room door behind her to block it out. Professor Sprout, looking somewhat more frazzled than usual, was washing her hands at the sink. She glanced up at McGonagall's face and asked, "Tea?"

"Bless you, Pomona," said McGonagall. She hung her hat on the coat rack and sat down in one of the armchairs with a sigh.

Sprout boiled the water in the kettle with a wave of her wand. A tray had already been set with a teapot, two cups in saucers, and a small jug of milk. "I heard Filius was inspected this morning," she said as she carried the tray over and sat down.

McGonagall murmured thanks and poured the tea, shaking her head. "I never thought I'd see the day when we were taken over by the Ministry. And by that hateful little toad!" She sipped her tea and felt herself calm down ever so slightly.

Sprout gave her a nervous smile. "I do admit I'm worried."

"She's just trying to get to Dumbledore. She'll take down a few of us if she can, but you needn't be concerned," said McGonagall.

"I'm not the one with suspicious extracurricular activities," Sprout said carefully.

McGonagall raised her eyebrows. Sprout likely didn't know she was in the Order, but had probably picked up on both her and Dumbledore's increasingly busy schedules since the summer. "The day I worry about Dolores Umbridge is the day you can commit me to St. Mungo's," she said defiantly. "Unfortunately, I think she'll go after Hagrid first. That inspection certainly won't go well."

They both considered her words for a moment before Sprout suddenly grabbed her arm. She looked at her, confused.

"Severus' inspection," Sprout said, her eyes bright with amusement.

McGonagall envisaged Umbridge materialising like a ghoul from a dark corner of the dungeons, the echo of her insipid cough startling Snape into dropping a cauldron on his foot. He immediately drew his wand and the bow on top of her head burst into flame. McGonagall snorted, pressed her fingers to her smiling lips, and closed her eyes to steady herself. Sprout gasped with silent laughter next to her.

Suddenly, the door opened and Flitwick entered. He saw the witches in a state and gave them a curious glance. Sprout wiped the tears from her eyes as McGonagall finished her tea and said with a knowing look, "How was your morning, Filius?"

Flitwick's expression was pained. "I don't wish to complain, but—"

He was interrupted as Umbridge bustled into the room. She gave everyone a smug smile and chirped, "Good morning, all!"

Flitwick smiled civilly at her before busying himself with the kettle. Sprout and McGonagall stood up. "I'll take care of those, Pomona," McGonagall said, flicking her wand and sending the tea things to the sink. Umbridge was still looking expectantly at them.

"Thank you, Minerva," said Sprout. She nodded to Umbridge. "Morning. If you'll excuse me, the greenhouse needs tidying."

Umbridge turned to McGonagall, who ignored her and followed Sprout to the door. "Well, I guess it's just us then, Professor Flitwick. Join me for tea?" Umbridge's voice was falsely bright as her blank eyes watched McGonagall putting on her hat.

"I'm dreadfully sorry, but I also have a bit of preparation for my next lesson. Good day!" Flitwick bowed and scurried away with his cup of tea.

McGonagall held the door open for Sprout and Flitwick. "Inquisitor," she said with a stiff nod. The door fell shut on Umbridge's expressionless face.


	2. Start of Term Feast

"Still no news of them?" whispered Professor McGonagall, sitting down next to Professor Sprout at the staff table. Sprout shook her head sadly as heaping platters of meats, vegetables, and pies appeared on all of the tables in the Great Hall and the feast began.

"I spoke to Miss Granger and the twins after Percy told me what happened," said McGonagall. "Miss Granger was quite concerned. Fred and George weren't too put out, of course, but I don't believe they are hiding anything." Percy Weasley had found her immediately after he arrived at Hogwarts, explaining that he had searched every compartment on the train during the ride up from London but his brother Ron and Ron's friend Harry Potter were most definitely missing.

"Surely the Weasleys would have sent an owl if the boys had missed the train?" Sprout asked. She couldn't remember hearing of a student ever travelling to Hogwarts by any other means, but Professor Snape had volunteered to keep watch at the entrance in case they turned up.

"Of course. I suspect Arthur and Molly are also unaware of what happened," McGonagall frowned. "Potter certainly has a way of finding trouble." An uneasy look passed between the two witches as they picked at their food.

Sprout thought back to the strange events involving Professor Quirrell and the Philosopher's Stone at the end of last school year. The very idea of You-Know-Who made her feel ill but Dumbledore was decidedly reticent on the matter. She couldn't help occasionally bringing up the subject with McGonagall, who had no patience for speculation. Had he actually returned? Sprout didn't want to let her mind wander too far down that path at the moment.

Snape suddenly appeared at the back of the hall, radiating smugness. He strode purposefully to the staff table, robes flapping, and leaned down between Sprout and McGonagall.

"Potter and Weasley are here," he hissed. Out of the corner of her eye, Sprout saw Professor Lockhart, who was seated on her other side, pause with his fork in midair and tilt his head towards them.

McGonagall turned around, eyes wide. "But how—"

"They're fine. They claim that they were unable to cross onto the platform, so they flew here in a muggle car undoubtedly enchanted by Arthur Weasley," his voice dripped with disdain. "They were spotted by muggles across the country."

"Harry Potter!" Lockhart had given up all pretense of eating. "He sure craves the spotlight, doesn't he? I do hope he takes the time to read _Magical Me_ , where I discuss the perils of fame at length."

McGonagall stood up with an outraged huff and threw her napkin onto the table.

Snape turned to Sprout. "And they crashed into the willow."

Sprout put her head in her hands and groaned. She envisaged the tree flailing feebly, festooned with bits of metal.

Lockhart patted her shoulder reassuringly. "Don't worry. As I wrote in _Travels with Trolls_ , I have plenty of experience with Whomping Willows. The key is to be confident!"

"I will deal with them," McGonagall said briskly, ignoring Lockhart.

"They are in my office," Snape said. McGonagall excused herself and immediately exited the hall. Snape walked over to Dumbledore and spoke to him in a low voice. Dumbledore nodded soberly before Snape stood up and turned on his heel.

"Professor Sprout," Lockhart said, gravely. She looked up.

"I suppose it's too dark for us to do anything about it tonight, but I'll come and give you a hand with the willow first thing in the morning," he said. With a wink and a nod, he turned back to his plate and continued his meal.

Sprout closed her eyes briefly and took a breath. "Thank you, Professor Lockhart."


End file.
